It's Official - Your Teenager Loves You

Latest survey reveals facts on parenting for next century

Most teenagers believe their parents are always there when they need them, and say their families make them feel loved and cared for. These are the findings of a report released today by the National Family and Parenting Institute (NFPI), which may cast doubt on the popular image of surly teenagers as represented by Harry Enfield's comic creations.

The report, Teenagers' Attitudes To Parenting, is drawn from the results of a MORI poll which surveyed almost 2,500 11 to 16 year-olds in England and Wales about their relationship with their parents. The report is released as a new leaflet, Parenting Teenagers, is published to offer practical help to parents who are dealing with the problems and pitfalls of bringing up adolescents.

The NFPI survey shows that although most of the children are often positive about their family life, the generation gap is still alive and well in the 21st Century family, with some marked differences in attitudes across the parental divide.

The main findings of the report include:

• Three-quarters of the young people interviewed said that their parents were always there for them when they needed them, and two-thirds said they felt loved and cared for
• Fifty-nine per cent of young people said they get on very well with their parents
• One in five said that they and their parents argue a lot
• Conflicts emerge as the children get older, with the turning point coming at 13 years old
• A large majority of the children (70 per cent) say it's important for parents to get on well together if they are to raise happy children. However, just a third of parents share that view
• Almost two-thirds of the children say parents being clear about what is right or wrong is important in raising happy children, while only 40 per cent of parents share that view
• The majority of young people (83 per cent) cite making children feel loved and cared for as the best way to raise happy children. Seventy one per cent of children, compared with 41 per cent of parents, say it is important for them to be listened to and understood

NFPI Chief Executive, Mary MacLeod, said: "These findings show how easy it is to stereotype teenagers. Contrary to the Harry Enfield picture of the monster in family life, the majority of teenagers get on well with their parents."

"But teenagers are also vulnerable, and relationships do get strained as teenagers grow older. Young people are especially sensitive to parental conflict; the survey results suggest that many parents underestimate how important their own relationship is to their children's happiness."

Also released today is Parenting Teenagers, a "survival guide for mums and dads" published by Parentline Plus, in association with the NFPI and the Trust for the Study of Adolescence. Parenting Teenagers aims to offer advice on issues including conflict, being a stepparent and setting realistic boundaries. It suggests sources of help for parents having problems, and urges them not to feel ashamed of seeking advice.

"From the thousands of parents who contact Parentline Plus each year we know that parents and teenagers can find it difficult to communicate," said Dorit Braun, Chief Executive of Parentline Plus. "Parents dealing with teenage problems don't always know what normal teenage behaviour is and call our helpline feeling quite desperate and unsupported. Parents' love is being communicated but teenagers' desire for independence leaves parents feeling confused and rejected. Our leaflet aims to support parents by providing helpful hints and tips."

The leaflet is available from Parentline Plus on their free helpline, 0808-800 2222, or can be downloaded from their web site: www.parentlineplus.org.uk

Parents who want to talk to someone about their relationship with their children can call Parentline, the free helpline run by Parentline Plus, on 0808-800 2222.

• To obtain a summary of Teenagers' Attitudes to Parenting, please contact the NFPI press office on 020-7424 3471, fax 020-7485 3590. It is also available via the NFPI web site: www.nfpi.org
• The National Family and Parenting Institute is an independent charity set up last year to provide a strong national focus on parenting and families in the 21st century. The Institute's role is to bring together organisations, knowledge and know-how to enhance the quality of family life, to make sure parents are supported in bringing up their children and in finding help and information.

Technical details

This survey was carried out by MORI among a sample of 2343 children aged 11-16 in England and Wales. Interviews took place in classroom sessions between 17 January-29 February 2000. Data has been weighted. The survey of adults was carried out by MORI among a sample of 1517 parents in Great Britain. Interviews took place between 22-25 October 1999.