Young men believe women prioritise attractiveness and financial status when dating, but young women say kindness and humour more important

New research from Ipsos in the UK - in partnership with JOE media - suggests that while young men are more likely to believe women prioritise attractiveness (50%) and financial status (39%) in a romantic partner (along with a sense of humour 39%), their female peers say they consider a sense of humour (60%) and kindness (53%) to be the more important. In addition, over half (53%) of 16-24 men and 31% of 16-24 women believe that “the majority of women are only attracted to a small subset of men”, a core idea that underpins incel culture.

The polling is part of the launch of Ipsos in the UK and JOE media’s Modern Masculinity campaign, which will provide an evidence-based picture of modern masculinity and dispel myths surrounding young British men.

Following on from conversations sparked by the hit television show Adolescence, Ipsos’ first set of findings cover dating and relationships. The data provides a nuanced account of modern love, focusing on heterosexual relationships between young men and women. Ipsos in the UK’s Chief Client Officer Richie Jones says “the research evidences the nuanced view of men and women and how young men are wrongly assuming what women want in a partner. More positively it shows how young men do have access to positive male role models.”

Dating difficulties

• Young men more likely to agree that the majority of women are only attracted to a small subset of men: 53% of men aged 16-24 agree with the statement that “the majority of women are only attracted to a small subset of men” (20% disagree), compared with 32% of the public overall (24% disagree). Women aged 16-24 are more split, with 31% agreeing with this statement, and 26% disagreeing.  Overall 39% of men agree with this and 26% of women.
• Perceptions of what women view as the most important characteristics in a partner vary: When asked what they believe the top five most important characteristics for women are when considering a male partner, overall Britons are most likely to say honesty (57%) and sense of humour (56%). Men aged 16-24 believe that women prioritise attractiveness (50%) and financial status (39%, while the same proportion also say a sense of humour is valued). Men aged 25-34 are also more likely to say that women prioritise financial status (48%) over other attributes. However, women aged 16-24 are actually more likely to say they consider a sense of humour (60%), kindness (53%) and communication (53%) to be more important.

• Half of young men think dating today is more difficult than 20 years ago: Overall, 36% of Britons think that it is more difficult for men to find a partner today than it was twenty years ago. This rises to half (51%) of men aged 16-24, and four in ten (40%) women in the same age group. Both men (37%) and women (35%) overall are more likely to say dating for men is more difficult now, with 25% of men and 20% of women saying it’s easier.  33% say its harder for women to date nowadays than 20 years ago (twice as high among women as men, 44% to 22%).
• Dating challenges vary by gender: Young men (16-24) cite the negative influence of social media and dating apps (50%), coupled with a lack of confidence in approaching potential partners in person (46%), as the biggest challenges facing them when dating. Women aged 16-24, however, highlight changing social norms and expectations within relationships (36%) as the biggest challenges facing men (along with social media and lack of confidence, both at 33%).

• Young men more likely to believe that women prefer taller men: The perception that women prefer taller partners is more pronounced among young men aged 16-24, with over six in ten (65%) believing this to be the case, compared with just over half (53%) of women in the same age range. Overall, 47% of Britons think that women are less attracted to men who are shorter than them.
• Majority prefer dating in real life: Despite the popularity of dating apps, the majority (59%) of Britons overall prefer meeting potential partners in real life. 
• Young men more likely to have used dating apps in the past year: Dating app usage is most prevalent among young men aged 16-24, with half (50%) having used an app in the past year, versus 28% for women aged 16-24. For men overall, one quarter (24%) say they’ve used a dating app in the past year, compared to 11% of women. The biggest frustrations with dating apps among users include difficulty forming genuine connections (more so for women) and the prevalence of fake profiles (a greater concern for men).

Male role models 

• Young men most likely to say that they have at least one positive male role model: Contrary to the current widespread media narrative about role models for young men, 76% of men aged 16-24 say they have at least one positive male role model in their life - higher than the male average of 54% (while overall, 65% of women say they have a positive male role model in their life).

Attitudes towards gender equality 

Elsewhere in the poll, people were asked a series of questions about their views on topics related to gender equality.

• Those that define themselves a feminist tend to be younger, with those agreeing decreasing as age increases, for both men and women. One third (33%) of men aged 16-24 define themselves as a feminist, versus 55% of women in the same age range. This is compared with 21% of men overall and 32% of women overall.
• Half (51%) of men aged 16-24 agree that “we have gone so far in promoting women's equality that we are discriminating against men”, compared with 35% of Britons overall. In addition, 46% of men aged 16-24 and 51% of men aged 25-34 agree that men are being expected to do too much to support equality (compared with 30% of the public overall).
• 37% of men aged 16-24 believe that a man contributing less financially than his partner is "less of a man."
• Just over three in four (77%) Britons disagree that a man who stays home to look after his children is less of a man, though around two in ten men under the age of 35 agree.

Richie Jones, Chief Client Officer at Ipsos in the UK, says:

There’s been a society-wide conversation in recent months about what it means to be a man, and what impact modern ideas of masculinity are having on us all. That is a good thing, and long overdue. Sadly, some of this debate has been dictated by bad faith actors, or without facts. That’s why Ipsos in the UK and JOE media are joining forces. Talking about masculinity should not be at the expense of gender equality, but in support of it. The only way we can do that is by tackling the real issues impacting young men, such as the challenges they face when it comes to dating. The picture is nuanced. We know Gen Z relationships are complex and non-binary, and in this particular study our findings paint an uncomfortable picture of some young men who have been incorrectly taught their value to others is in material things, and who have a difficult time dating. In this space, harmful ideologies can spread. But young men are clearly aware of the negative influence of social media and dating apps and believe they do have access to positive male role models.

Oli Dugmore, Editor at JOE media says:

We think giving a realistic and accurate view of what men actually feel is really important in the context of so much misinformation and panic. We’re proud to be partnering with Ipsos because they’re one of the most prestigious polling organisations in the country. JOE media is a genuinely popular media brand for young people, and a progressive alternative to some of the nonsense directed to young men. More of our campaign will be shared soon.

Technical notes 

• Ipsos interviewed a representative sample of 2,475 adults aged 16-75 across Great Britain. Base size of 16-24 men (221) and 16-24 women (154). Polling was conducted online from the 9th-12th May 2025.  
• Data are weighted to match the profile of the population. All polls are subject to a wide range of potential sources of error.